The Baton of Hope UK was created by two amazing fathers, Mike McCarthy and Steve Phillip, who both very sadly lost their sons to suicide within a year of one another in their early 30s. These personal tragedies brought them together. Steve contacted Mike after seeing him talk on TV about his son Ross's loss. He offered to support Mike in any way he could as they were going through the same nightmare, and it was the start of a beautiful friendship.
Together, they came up with the idea of a baton of hope to shine a light on mental health and suicide prevention and what can be done to help people when they are struggling.
I'm one of the organisational committee members. Everyone on board has been touched directly or indirectly by suicide or mental health challenges. We all bring our own stories to it, and we come from very different walks of life with different skill sets and backgrounds. There's huge energy and passion from everyone, and we have a common goal to change this country's approach towards suicide and suicidal thoughts, to destigmatise depression and mental health issues, to get people talking more openly about it, and to support those affected by it.
In June 2023, The Baton of Hope UK will start its journey in Glasgow. It's been beautifully designed by Thomas Lyte, a world-renowned silversmith and goldsmith, Royal Warrant holder to His Majesty the King, and the company behind some of the most brilliant and recognizable trophies, including the FA Cup and the Rugby World Cup and many other sports trophies. The baton will travel across Great Britain and Northern Ireland before arriving at the Houses of Parliament to its final resting place. Our goal is to spark a national conversation around mental health and suicide and bring people together to create the largest suicide prevention initiative that the UK has ever seen.
We have many excellent resources up and down the country, but people need to know what support is available and where to go to get it. Many experts, organisations and charities, both big and small, are doing great work, and people need to know they are there and how to access them quickly when needed.
We need to think and change how we talk about mental health and suicidal thoughts to remove the stigma and turn it into a normal conversation - in schools, colleges, universities, in the workplace and in our communities. We are comfortable and happy to discuss physical injuries or problems with friends and family. Still, we aren't taught how to speak about our own mental health and well-being or how to help people in society who are in crisis. Everyone can make a difference and save a life, especially if given the right tools to do so.
If we are honest, British people can naturally be a bit of a stiff upper lip. Steve and Mike come from the north of England, which is one area of the UK with disproportionately high suicide rates, especially in young men. Many feel more pressure to "man up" and not to talk about their feelings. We need to create an environment where people can speak up, won't be judged, and somebody is there to listen and support them. Sometimes, explaining to a friend that you don't know how best to help but that you'll be there for them to help in any way you can make all the difference. We know this has saved lives, especially in the teenage and young adult community. Reaching out when a friend posts something unusual on social media can be very powerful if someone feels very low.
During lockdown, one of my colleagues asked for advice as he had a friend who was struggling very severely: his wife had recently left him, and he was in a dark place. He didn't know what to do to help, so suggested they have as open a conversation as possible so he could see how serious the situation was. I explained the only way to understand how he was genuinely feeling was to talk about it and to ask some very direct questions. My colleague knew nothing about depression and had never spoken about it before with anyone. When he sat down with his friend, he found that he was having suicidal thoughts, which meant he needed to get urgent professional help and to have good support from his family and friends around him. My colleague became his lifeline: he got his friend to move in with him, which saved his life. In those days and weeks, he gave something special, not just to his friend but also to his two children, who didn't know their dad was struggling.
For every person who dies by suicide, it's thought that at least 133 people around them are deeply affected, and their lives are changed forever.
Supporting Young People Struggling With Mental Health
For any young person struggling with their mental health, it helps if they can share how they are feeling with someone they can trust, be that a parent, carer, close relative, teacher, or another adult. Being a teenager is a tricky time which can create a lot of stress and anxiety, and lockdown has been instrumental in adding more stress and apprehension. There are also some amazing charities supporting young people that they can speak directly to who understand, like Papyrus, ChildLine and Samaritans. Details at the end of the article.
How You Can Get Involved with The Baton Of Hope UK
The Baton of Hope UK is for everyone. The more people we can reach, the more people will be able to recognise the signs or hear the silence of distress from their loved ones.
We would love you to get involved, and there are lots of different ways to take part. We have amazing people raising money for the Baton of Hope UK, which can be anything from cake sales to sponsored challenges and events. Recently, a fabulous young man, Ali, who lost his dad a few years ago walked and ran across the Isle of Man in his dad's memory and raised £2000 for us which was awesome!
The best place to learn more about us and what we are doing is our website: www.batonofhopeuk.org. You can also register to become a local champion and depending on the location, we can connect you to others in that area who want to make a difference, or you can start the baton in your area.
Why I Got Involved with the Baton Of Hope UK
I had a huge amount of trauma in my home as a teenager. My parents went through a very messy divorce, and my stepfather was a profoundly unpleasant, controlling alcoholic. When I was 14, my stepfather told my father that he was going to make sure he never saw us again. It was a very difficult time for us all, and soon after this conversation, my dad rang me up one last time to say goodbye as he had had enough and was in despair. I didn't know then that he thought the world would be better off without him. I remember him sounding so low and distant and feeling a bit frightened, but I didn't fully understand
what was going on? I kept him on the phone for the next hour, babbling away about all the things we were going to do together when I next saw him. Years later he shared how close he had come to leaving us, but he said he couldn't because he realised how much my brother and I needed him. For any child who has suffered from childhood trauma or a difficult start to life I think we are acutely aware of the fragility of life and the fact that at times, things are going to happen that are going to get in the way of feeling okay and may lead to someone feeling totally desperate or despairing. But we must remember it's just a moment in time, it will pass and good times will come again.
I spent eight years in politics as a local councillor and was initially the Shadow Spokesperson for our Children's Services. I was horrified when our council went into Special Measures for Children's Services, which was not only shocking but meant that children and their families were being catastrophically let down by the council at that time. We were the second worst council in the country and the Government intervened to ensure the council improved its services. As a Member of the Opposition, I had observed the council's failure, and I became part of the working group responsible for helping to turn the service around. I gained a far greater understanding of social services, fostering, looking after children and adoption, and outcomes. We completely overhauled the service and were so proud when we went from joint bottom to the top five in the country in two years. Our staff and services had totally transformed, and everything considered the voice of the child, which had been missing previously.
I was sometimes the person that families came to at their wit's end. I spoke to parents whose children had tried to take their own lives two or three times. They were des- perate and worried that their son or daughter would be successful one day. They felt nobody understood what was happening or was listening to them; nobody was helping. They were scared, and they needed help. Especially as a new councillor, you are ill-equipped to deal with many of these situations, with little formal experience in this area, and I would tell them that I would stand with them, alongside them, and be their voice until we could find the best solution. This gave me a deep understanding of what was working and not working from a local authority perspective and how broken much of the process was, including the healthcare services. In the UK, we have a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to young people and their mental health and it doesn't work.
My passion has always been around children and young people, and as a parent I have also experienced the challenges of my own children's mental health at different points of their lives. Having to fight for the support that I knew was right and was going to work was extremely tough and very draining. It often takes months and months to see a professional who can help. When I first met Steve and Mike, we spoke about how many people died by suicide as those are known facts, but we don't speak about how many people have made attempts and we don't know those stats. It's the parents who have lost their children who speak out about this epidemic, all wishing to save another family from their heartbreak. If a child survives, every- one is quiet and that needs to change. We need to look at what works, hear from those who have survived, how they thrived, and learned how to get through and to look at and share the best practice from positive stories.
We need to teach parents to ask difficult questions of their children at any age especially as they grow into young adults. In America, parents are trained to ask their children about their dark thoughts if they are struggling. In the UK, you would likely feel incredibly uncomfortable asking whether somebody is feeling suicidal because you are frightened by that conversation. It's a stigma, a lack of education and awareness. The part I want to play in the Baton of Hope UK is to look at how we can do things differently, especially with young people. We know early intervention leads to better, healthier outcomes as adults. Parents, carers and schools need tools to help us start these courageous conversations.
It's a huge privilege to be involved with this initiative. We're not going to let the status quo continue: we are going to be disruptive ask difficult questions of the Government, Local Authorities and decision makers, including Public Health. We are determined to change the dialogue and signpost people so they can get the help they need and deserve. www.batonofhopeuk.org
Helpful resources and contacts if you need urgent help or support for you or a child.
PAPYRUS HOPE LINE UK
For children and young people under 35 9 am-midnight every day of the year (Weekends and Bank Holidays included) Call 0800 068 41 41 | Text 07860 039 967 Email [email protected] papyrus-uk.org
CHILDLINE
For children and young people under 19
Counsellors take the calls 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call 0800 1111
childline.org.uk
SAMARITANS
Adults of all ages + children 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year Call 116 123
Email [email protected]
(24-hour response time) has an app samaritans.org
STEM4
Is an award-winning charity focused on early intervention, and its free apps help young people manage stressful situations or a particular area of mental health that they are struggling with. It's aimed at supporting teens and those around them.
R;PPLE
Outstanding innovative web interception that can be downloaded for free onto any computer and laptop provides immediate support and resources to anyone searching for harmful content online. Already saving lives, and would be good to have it on every computer as a preventative measure. ripplesuicideprevention.com
LOST CONNECTION
Book/audible by Johann Hari - A brilliant insight into how it feels to have depression. Useful to anyone struggling with their mental health as well as well as us all to understand how they think. "The more people that read this book, the better off the world will be"- Naomi Klein.
